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Unfortunatly, I once again am devoid of a topic. I think. I got to go to a huge library, and see Terminator 3 at the local theater. consisting of 1,288 words and who knows how many different kinds of clauses. If that happens, then no one will read this. | 14.35 KB, We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! Of course, if everything is realthen the Universe is pretty contradictory. *nods* Well, yeahI KNOW I'm actually typing instead of talking. He can save mankind, and doom Trinity. He sneaks into neighboring homes, and takes clothing, wrapped christmas presents, and anything he can find. Plus, boxes are more convient than bags. : I've had this nagging fear that I am part of some random but vast conspiracy (about what I'm not sure but it must be vast). (and redundancy!) I have an extra-special rant for you all today, to celebrate the new domain name! And "Mr. Owl" replies "OneTwooThree! It's a word. Time for another boring disclaimer!!!!!!! All of Faulkners modernist contemporaries, including of course Joyce, Wolff, and Beckett, mastered the use of run-ons, to different effect. It also shows the total number of sentences in a text file. Second of all, you would have to have the patience to read through all of this. Until thenI have absolutly no imaginary money. So, everyone went to the beach and got tans. why must everyone always rhyme, why Im a poet and dont I know it? You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! You see, my school has "block" scheduling. I mean, I don't think I could afford a monkey, and I'm not exactly on the streets. Should you violate the purpose of this site: i.e. The food was superb, (our food came the exact opposite of how we ordered it, and half of the onion rings were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game(my sister and the ex-con played my mom) We spent hours there (from 5p.m.-7:15p.m.) I hate Math. Her first guess was enslaved africans. Here's what I wrote this weekend: Woooooo! CHECK OUT MY ARMPITS!!! I can't really work on this site even though I now have a more in depth understanding of variables. At one point, I read an article that stated that it had been proven, conclusivly, that Kansas was flatter than the standard pancake. So the (smallest number) + (middle number) = (largest number) The number 3, 4 and 5 satisfy this condition 3 + 4 = 5 because 3 = 3 x 3 = 9 4 = 4 x 4 = 16 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 and so . I'm just bored. Some of my pages have stuff written in to make search engines recognize me, but it doesn't seem to be working. I even impress myself. That's funny!!!! Ugh. *g8ggles* bye. But, the wings were'nt really special. (Although my mother does have a "earring tree".) I think I'm so tired I can't sleep. Hello, everyone! The Blah Story by Nigel Tomm contains the longest known sentence in the English language. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? 'Ah the power of cheese!' Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. Soif you wish to contribute to this great and magneficent and magestic and MOOSEY projectwe need the following things: 739 rolls of aluminium foil (preferably the extra shiny kind) 417 refridgerator boxes, 9000 rolls of "sticky on both sides" duct tape, 300 lbs of chicken feathers (preferably white) and 1 (one) thermo-nuclear-rocket-thruster. Sodoesn't that make you want to take Kansas' side (I sincerly appologize if you are from Kansas). It's been practically proven that Ketchup transforms into a highly intoxicating (non-addictive) delicious substance upon returning from the 5th Dimension. Perhaps, one day, far in the future, this will actually be a world record and random people will acutally voluntarily read this text every day. If I did, would I stop this? Did it make more sense that this text? hello, I like to play Fortnite it is a really good game. I bet it's spelled monkeys. Sometimes I just do this, you know? Try it. And don't even get me started on earrings. I salute those people. It's really stressfull. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! As you may or may not know, small children swarm the ice cream trucks. It tells me stuff like: "Warning: More Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy". Next semester will be almost exactly like this one. Which is what I'm about to do. They're listening for a secrretno it's cause of a secret. Okay. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Behind the Scenes: How the British Library Digitizes One of the Worlds Biggest Books, View Leonardo Da Vincis Notebooks Online and Go Inside the Mind of a Genius, Library Places 1,600+ Occult Books Online With Help From The Da Vinci Code Author, 20+ Creative Gifts for People Who Love to Read. Maybe I should use spell-check. Suprised? Everyone, clap for "Meg".I gotta goseeya later! So the game naturally did everything it could to preserve my life. Almost all of the really long sentences are under 1,000 words. The Patron Saint of Paper Clips in no way wishes harm on your computer. It will be a truly magestic site, as it launches from the earth, spewing excess oxygen, cardboard, feathers and tape. The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death in the same sentence. Im gonna start quoting from the Flaming Chicken Handbook! Yes. . WE have been having very profound thoughts lately. | 13.41 KB, JSON | I am now barophobic (afraid of gravity). I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. It sucked. It just looks weird. I have to get up really early to leave for home. They particularly liked how I said that she went back and ran over it 11 more times. All they do is fill out the TAB form and leave. PlusI gots oblimagationsobligaton.obligations to this site. HEEEEY! To Cheese Nips. Anyway, today's rant is about one of my many and various pet peeves: fasion andstuff. Goodwhat? Oh, and all those weird squiggly lines and symbols, those are supposed to be apostrophes, but neopet's code is weird, and I'm not gonna bother to edit it. But untill that day, the concept of the smoke detector is useless. Moving on, I finaly managed to coax my sister (I'm tired of writing Mrs. X) to tentativly guess that America fought in the Civil War. Another article claims that an anitseptic turned a polar bear purple, drawing large crowds of people. Maybe I should start on a boring disclaimerEh-hem. The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood: never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. Why else would they invest all that money to show commercials in their own store? Is that old lady on the street corner really an ex-convict? Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? My mom did it to her because it was free. I have a guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who is once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet). I definitly mistrust lots of stuff. Why bother asking? *sniffle* Why must this be? I'm back. Sowhen the weekend rolls around, I'm fairly exhausted. I don't exactly know where it isoh, well. Sentences can be made arbitrarily long in various ways. Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. Sorry if I complained a lot. This naturally alarmed the HECK out of me! ALWAYS. Ooooooo! I love owls. Well, I better leave before I go on and on about more "reality" theories. You want me to stay. Oh, well. Who am I kidding. So he probably didn't see the majority of my site. She's evil. A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! | 0.79 KB, JSON | Today's rant is a panic rant. HI! That's what they need to do with the water. This is actually my third attempt at doing this. How discouraging. The whole meal thing was about the only interesting thing to happen during the week. There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! First devised by professor William J. Rapaport in 1972, this notorious sentence plays on reduced relative clauses, different part-of-speech readings of the same word, and center embedding. I suppose I could let someone else have the glory. That's is just so extremly creepy. Needless to say, I felt right at home. its dark and I want to go home is where the heart was where is it now? Instead they appear to be a nuclear armagedon in the form of a fifth grader. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. *sigh* I can't think of anything to write. There's salt, of course, and aluminum sulfate, and other compounds. If you you don't have time to waste, what are you doing here?!!! Once upon a terribly dreadful time, there was a small cat-licking bird that lived on a lane by my house whose name was Charles just like every other soul, male or female, that lived on my smelly, stinky, orange, old, rotten, messy, busted cul-de-sac between . Like a division of mounties made entirely out of monks. )so you can travel to the 5th Dimension like our scientists almost did. my dear theres nothing to fear thats only a box thats made of blocks next to the wagon that looks like a dragon why are you shaking its your fear that is making you shiver and act all a quiver. Enjoy! I hope I remember doing this. I just keep going, and going and going. 1,288 words and many clauses make up the lengthy run-on phrase. Seeya. You're only browsing it. It's creepy. HOW, I ask you!? Butthat'd be a lot of work, unlike ranting, raving and rambling. It's not fair! But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. I, being weird, am pretty much immune to such expectations. Someone could have super-disolving spit, or watery-spit. WaitI really don't even know if anyone bothers to read this. Geee.that is comforting. Then I realized that the buldozer already HAD been invented. It took him to my quiz page. No? I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste. Should you violate this right, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy. Who am I kidding? RISE UP AND BARE YOUR BISCUIT FILTY FANGS AT THE LEASH WIELDING DEMON!! I get done at 9:15. We need to act now! I don't understand it. Purposly damaging the skin so you can look "attractive". It's stupid and ironic and just shouldn't exist in a better world. WAIDAMINIT!! My dadwas on this site. If the facts beg to differ, than the facts are wrong. I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. Ain't it nifty? When I pressed her, she confessed she didn't know what chrisianity was. Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. *scrunches eyes and makes funny sounds* Nope. What line of buisness, do you ask? I know a topic! I see your EVIL plot now, Hypothetical Reader! That is the only possible explanation as to why it upsets her so much. And almost never finish. The entire message board was like one big insane asylum. "a pokemon game. Could the pop-up blocker people have chosen a better means to advertise their product? *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. but if I do, only friends and enemies will receive copies. I think. Anywaythat was my family vacation rant. She goes crazy if someone holds it, 'cause it's getting attention and not her. For that matter, how do you know that ANYTHING but you exists! (Absolutly nothing about that statement was sarcastic) As you can see, I love my families outings(Not unless you're blindor stupid) &#!#%&&!!! And once again suprised. *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! Do you care? Today's lesson is: subliminal messages . I'm pretty sure you're not mebut you could be that other guy. Somy lack of a car and driving skills force me to use the bus, which comes for me 45 minutes before my school even starts. These people have obviously suffered major brain damage from their prolonged exposure to the sun. Number Nine: Now it's just getting redundant, isn't it? Advertisement. It was fairly fun. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. As in, I was half-asleep, hoping that we'd arrive while I slept. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. It makes sense, though. aSk anybody. My mother visited relatives. *blinks* Wowso I'm NOT paranoid. A post shared by Worlds Best Story (@worldsbeststory). Or CRAP, for short. we clapped. I think. I only know that I'm entertaining me, which was my original goal. There are not going to be conspiraciesor humor of any kind. Okay. It's a small light, but it's sooooooo annoying. Hey, I'm back again! I can even see the shadow of my hand on the wall from the light those things shed. They couldn't stop laughing. It really lets me get to know you. It's not FAIR. I just can't work up the energy to be outraged. *blinks* And I STILL can't remember what else I was gonna say to you people. In otherwords, she's a small yappy dog who is big for her breed. I only signed up for a semester. If you expect nothing, and get nothing, you feel nothing. Anyway, there's nothing wrong with reading food labels. Now you may be wondering what horrible beast is Moose's arch-enemy. I've been a paranoid, conspiracy seeking mood lately and the newest threat to my sanity is: smoke detectors! Now, some of you are probably thinking "Gee, Really? Especially since I'm bothering to write all this. She also is the goddess of red jello. Oh, who am I kidding. No guarantee that he'll succeed in saving Trinity. (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. People need to make the time to waste time. Kodak, as you may know, is a film developing company. I came up with this philosophy when I was in fifth grade. She is a heavy-set Yorkshire Terrior (12 lbs.) Maybe fact check before coming up with such blatant lies. It only takes me a few minutes to get ready, then I can go back to bed. You know? | 12.46 KB, JSON | We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. What do you think, Hypothetical Reader? Or possibly a really good president who wanted to fly to the moon. AwwwwwI'm touched! It's like this. There have been several claims for the longest sentence in the English language revolving around the longest printed sentence. It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. I'm back! BRINGING $#$$# KIDS IN A BAR!? EryeahI'm back. Who'da thought it? Now I'd better go and torture my Moose with it:) I am officially back. Which is what I do best. There was a sample essay online. And then people will start reading. Okay, better leave. These links send stuff to someone named johnjones333@hotmail.com The Patron Saint of Paper Clips does not know who this individual is, but sincerly wishes that you send all your hate mail to him. Physics is so FREAKIN' hard! The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotter's Club, 2001. And, you have to remember that because infinity is infinite, you can divide it an infinite number of times. Python | In any case, my theory means that playing video games is very cruel. Most people actually like to spend long periods of time exposing their vulnerable skin to the harmful rays of the sun. What, is there a giant sign saying, "DEAD END"? ME: My vicious, psychotic, flesh-eating bunny-rabbit wants to rule the world. You don't know who Squirell is? as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. And any weirdness I could come up with would be normal compared to Noodle Boy, soI bid thee farewellseeya! It'll be ready soon, ain't it great? (Which I think does not exist) My point is, if you've bothered to read this, then, (like me) you probley have also read the ketchup bottle so many times that you have it down verbatim. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! You expect far to much of the inanimate world. I even came up with a mathematical explanation for why gambling is fun (while I was eating a hyper-speed dinner, thinking nothing of getting back to the slot machine). Oh, well. I've been playing one of the new neopets slot machines (black pawkeet). I made a virtual pet for it. And because she was the head fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look was definitly "in". *pauses* *groans* I'm sorry for that pun (pierced, hooked, getit?). That's exactly what tanning is like. Answer me, you blobby looking freak! I'm back. I've won 500 np, at least and I'm on a roll. The events of Neo's dream unfold. I wonder what it's name would be. And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. Air pressure. *sigh* *sniffle* *snort* *insert word that is a sound that begins with an "s" here* I don't have much time, so, I must be brief. Any miniute now. With a specific number of words. Yeah. While you wait for yesterday's tomorrow, lunge back and remember that day. Dum-B-Gon stimulates brain activity, making you up to 10 times smarter! When I start playing a game, I am on 0. It's called Hit-Or-Miss, any topics, plot, etc. I think it's pretty funny. I'm sorry that today's rant isn't random, insane or completely chaotic, but I must right my experience with The Matrix before I forget. Although I tell you she can't possibly be normal, since she hangs out with me. That is justpathetic. Soair pressure can be a good thing. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. What would happen when that dreamer woke? Speaking of publishing, I do plan on somehow, someday publishing this as the first rambling narrative that makes no sense, and is about as interesting as rereading the almanac. And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" It's like grand-theft auto 3's talk show, you know, the one where there are Citizens Raging Against Phones? We believe that this is the longest single sentence in . You'd have to find the end, of course. I just can't seem to stop, though. Why can't I have more readers?! Introduction In the business world, communication by e-mail is indispensable. I clarified, which countries fought in the Civil War. Number Three: I could have studied and stuff. *yawn* I'm back. of toilet paper, to do everything. It's an outrage! For the love of Story. The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. And I sugest that we build the rocket so that we can go to the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony so that we can laugh at the stupid earthlings who are blowing up because they didn't listen to us when we tried to warn them about the impending doom! I mean, come on! I'm backit's been awhile since I've written here. Too Bad! But, for a time, Faulkner took the run-on as far as it could go. YOU WILL NOT SINK MY CHEERIO!! It means that WAL-MART TV IS EVIL! I am back. It would make no sense. Because I do. And then the quality will rise. YeahI knowpathetic. YOU'RE ALL ZOMBIE THIGH-FAT PEOPLE BROUGHT INTO ANIMATION BY SOME EVIL FORCE OF FORCEFUL EVIL!!! I'm finnaly back! However, I am currently content to just sit here and type. It just doesn't make any sense. The end is not here. We made a guild, and I wrote out the transcripts of the first ever Asparagus War in narrative form (mock epic, very cheesey) Since it's very, very long, I'll post it here to meet my imaginary word quota for the day! Seeya. We think. I'm gonna quit for now. That's not fair! I tend to make those tiny mistakes, and get bad grades, even if I understand the concepts. I will show you an example with this completly true stuff that I experienced several years ago. That would explain that annoying green little blinkie light in them. Otherwise, why on earth (beta, krpto, zkdjf, Planet X, whatever) would you be here? 8 min ago And on to: Number Eight: I could haveuhhhhummmmmactually thought up these things before hand. And if you expect something and get nothing, you feel cheated. You see, if the universe is indeed infinite, that means that literally EVERYTHING is possible, and in fact, is happening somewhere in the universe. In Math, one teeny, tiny little mistake will make you get the entire thing wrong. It doesn't matter. I'll tell you why. She even got her sister and mother in the spirt of things. Are you happy? I'll just have to do the very best that I can. And I feel weird! I've seen it. Welllet's see. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. Now I must take my leaveand remember. She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. That's the sixth time I've said back! It just seems extremly weird (and worthy of mentioning) that this semi-important guy from Kansas believes in a "vast breakfast food conspiracy". I don't want a full year of work. Think about it. He even tried to hide the sword behind his back! You wanna try to convince me I'M crazy? Josh says I probably won't remember writing any of this, but I can't sleep. For an ENTIRE MONTH I have possesed the arcane knowledge, but I forgot to share it with you, my loyal potentially imaginary reader. Read that onetime longest sentence in literature, all 1,288 words of it, below. I would have sold the monkey and the organ and been able to eat for at least a year. Finnaly, is it expected for said sibling's non-gender specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like that as a child" as an excuse? By the time the smoke dector goes off, the fire has drowned it out to no more than an annoying buzz. I'm an evil villain, kitty and a freakazoid so far. Think about it. I know. By the way, TAB is a worthwhile, community-service organization. We got there, we ate. Like my EVIL school computer deleting my updates page. -2k of the longest characters. the longest thing that I have ever wrote was a 600 word paragraph and I just wrote that. He then leaves them under his owners car. It was as if it had been just sitting therewaiting for me to discover it. Still later that day, she got offended at some trivial thing and decided that we weren't going anywhere at all. What is the alternative, you ask? And if they're so poor, what possessed them to buy a monkey? I've decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog, Moose. A lot has happened. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. Because they put subliminal messages in them, of course! I want SOME free time. It gave me new insight into how weird I am. VisitMy Modern Met Media. And mildly weirded-out. On video games. Anyway, that's my rant on the new generation that contains my little sister. Just how much time do they have on their hands. | 13.63 KB, JSON | Even though my schedule is technically supposed to be completly differnt. Then, she accidently woke our three yappy dogs up, and they relized that they were in a car. What kind of reasoning is that? America? Sometimes, it is lazy. | 13.41 KB, JSON | Maybe the evil little faeries with the sharp little teeth have put their evil faerie dust on my computer. Strange, huh? What cruel fate is this? Now, most families will go bowling, or putt-putt golfing. Maybe you're lost. Does it serve an obvious purpose? But that is false! So here it is! The longest word entered in most standard English dictionaries is Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis with 45 letters. "angry mob form"? But for a different reason. UNDER SUCH EXTREME HEAT, WEAR AND DEGRADATION IS INEVITABLE!! I can work with mistrust. You cannot deny the logic of my thinking! Insane, chaotichmmmmmI wonder who thought of it? I know where you are right now! Yeah. It's not fair. 17 min ago They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. Hmmmmmmm. She claimed that my little sister always did it to her, and she was getting pay-back. Or, at the very least, not label it as "pure". So far two whole people (to my knowledge) have read the entire thing, and a few people have skimmed it. I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. I bet you wanna go eat some Ketchup covered Dum-B Gon right now, while watching "reality" TV. In you, I found love, a friend, a companion, a mother, a role model, a perfect human, in short, you're my total package. Otherwise you'd think I was delusional, or something. Would it vary? i am tiredbut cannot go to sleep. does not, has never, and will absolutly NOT admit to having any weaknessbesides the aformention indivduals own skin, which isn't even a weakness anyway since no representative of the Dark, Fluffier Side can BE the Patron Saint of Paperclips (Guess, whononoTHAT'S IT!) And very concerned about this new, younger generation (all 10 year olds who were born in 1992) They are supposed to be the future. I promise. So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. But I couldn't have sung it 'cause it would have woken everyone up and they would have called me inconsiderate. Sure, certain members of my family do pay WAY to much attention to fasion, but that's just because of the expectations of society. But does anyone test "pure" water? You gots extra money, don't you? Or maybe not. ME: Yep. I figure that even the people I manage to lure onto my site from neopets don't even bother to come to this particular page. And John F. Kennedy (JFK) was an alien bent on global domination. At least it's over. Squirell? GeeI wish I'd thought of that sooner. I bet it does. My evil, EVIL sister. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. But for now I can only dream of that. It'd be cool. The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. Unless, of course, the government was smart enough to have cameras without the blinkie light. Even the air is conspiring to squish me! Would it be called DIS? Hey, I'm once again: back. They could do anything they wanted to, if they just put their minds to it. I'll add a link to the main page when I get around to it. We can all wear spiffy space-suits and feel all superiour to all those stupid earthlings. This entry went from saluting the PSOA to making a statement about my ideals. I better stop typing before I have a heart attackjust rememberThe Matrix has youI'm back. Seeyahmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computerI'm back. Did you know that statistics prove that 45% of all statistics are completly made up by me (The Patron Saint of Paperclips)?