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Board Messages . You caused the problem. ", 5. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. ", 29. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Check out100 Best Dad Jokes50 Thinking of You Quotes50 Friday Quotes50 Monday Motivation Quotes101Bad Puns200Jokes for Kids, Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television. This cookie is used for email services. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. George Carlin. ", 85. ", 75. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. AddThis sets this cookie to ensure that the updated count is seen when one shares a page and returns to it, before the share count cache is updated. ", 7. A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. Just like homeless people. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. "It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. You have owners. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. ", 119. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). ", 83. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 This cookie is set by DoubleClick and is used for re-targeting, optimisation, reporting and attribution of online adverts. ", 121. George Carlin, I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. - Gin Wigmore. ", 30. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. The great George Carlin once said in an interview that he divorced himself from concerns and problems from the world. The challenge is to find it. "Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. You're down to seven. "So, have a little fun. He missed this one. ""Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Next, honor thy father and mother. [5] And another one: ", 35. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. ", 89. But once you're born, you're on your own. Good honest hard-working people continue these are the people of modest means Continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who dont give a fuck about you. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Thats right. The rights and the rights of property. Enjoy! Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. Thats all it is. They don't fall out of the sky. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Never join a group that has a name. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. The _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. Now I feel better. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. ", 108. Where are these people hiding? This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town , the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. "The planet is fine. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. JIM STAFFORD. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not theyre coming for your Social Security money. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . 1 Every year in January, WEF holds its annual meeting in Davos, Switzerland. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. . The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. "It's called the American dream . Over time, though, his success grew. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. Whenever some boomer try's to lecture you about how their first job in the 60s they only made $3 an hour, just remember, $3 in 1969 had the equivalent buying power as $25.01 today. AWSALB is an application load balancer cookie set by Amazon Web Services to map the session to the target. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ", 114. "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. I like people who buck the system. They don't want to hear from you. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. ", 49. Then you live in an old age home. The 1996 clip is being passed around on social media after this week's Supreme Court news. Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Nobody seems to care. But He loves you. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. ", 51. If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. This is what we have to offer. You have owners. ", 9. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. I had an imaginary friend. I think the life cycle is all backwards. ", 15. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. ", 10. They own you. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. "When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Forget the politicians. ", 25. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. ", 32. You voted them in. By programmers in one hour. ", 23. 43. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. You will be notified via email when a new post is published. (LogOut/ And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? They own everything," the quote reads. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. If a dog can do it, you can watch. Thats against their interests. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. Amazon Pay uses this cookie to maintain a "session" that spans multiple days and beyond reboots. Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. ", 68. If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. OK? No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. You have no right to complain. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. Save the planet; we dont even know how to take care of ourselves yet. These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. The GUC cookie is set by Yahoo for Yahoo conversion tracking. the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big, red, white, and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes every day., This video is completely devastating for Trump. No nothing. The late comedian often times poked fun at religion, politics, and social justice. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) It doesn't matter what side you're on. Which doesn't make any sense at all. ", 46. ", 28. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. ", 103. 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. [] I look at war a little bit differently. Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. You have no choice. 28. r/antiwork. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. Owned by agkn, this cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' I took his shoes. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. ", 74. 01. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. ", 87. ", 42. he was a conservative. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. ", 86. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. They own everything" "They've. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. George Carlin. Believe me, my friend. "How can [God] be perfect? "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Individualists. This is the best we can do, folks. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. ", 4. ", 54. Simple thing. He's not a cheese. From Life Is Worth Losing. ", 120. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. The JSESSIONID cookie is used by New Relic to store a session identifier so that New Relic can monitor session counts for an application. "It's never just a game when you're winning. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. Obedience, respect for authority. This is the best we can do folks. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. It does not store any personal data. After that, they dont wanna know about you. ", 11. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. '", 93. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. "The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. "Forget the politicians. Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. Weve added years to life, not life to years. ", 26. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech.  Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and These days, 'Trajedi. Its you. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. This cookie is set by Eloqua. Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. A Death! They will do anything for the unborn. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. It helps in improving the performance. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. of American cultural paradoxes.. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is . I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. They dont want that. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. I'm your huckleberry. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. '", 73. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age.